Things on Facebook that bother me

So, I know there are numerous versions of the "Things that suck about facebook" lists out there on the interwebs, but this is one is mine.

The Politician

We all have them in our news feed. They're the people that post nothing but political stuff. All. Year. Long. They use their facebook status as a podium with their own personal seal on it. And most of them are completely unreasonable. It doesn't matter which camp they fall under. Every person I know that focuses this much on politics are very very biased in their beliefs. You'll find them saying things like, "Obama is an un-American socialist terrorist nazi who is ruining the country," or "Obama is the coolest raddest most intelligent president that ever was. He is our savior." I disagree with both of these camps because I am very much not into politics and therefore tend to ride the fence a lot.

The Religiocious Person

I'm not talking about people that simply quote Bible verses or people that are simply honest about their faith. I'm talking about people that tend to inject religion in politics in an un-cool way. I am a Christian, and I'm not just one of those Christians that say I'm a Christian because I believe in God and leave it at that. The story of my relationship with God is very long, and I may share it someday, but not now. My point is, I have no tolerance for intolerance. People who think something like the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell or the beginning of gay marriage means that "this homosexual steamroller will crush all decent men, women, and children who gets in its way" because homosexuality is a sin can bite me. Yeah, it might be a sin, but so is lying, adultery, anger, gluttony, and so on and so on. 100% of the time, the person spewing judgment is guilty of one of these kind of things at some point. Unless Jesus is on facebook. Then that's a different story. Do you know that the divorce rate for Christians is the same as it is for non-Christians? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

The Lovey Dove

I love my husband. Very much. And when he does something totally awesome like give me flowers for no reason or make me a wonderful dinner or not take his uniform off in the living room, I might post about it on facebook. This accounts for maybe MAYBE 10% of my status updates. So those people who post nothing but crap about their significant other. . . I want to punch them in the face. I've always felt this way. I used to think it was out of bitterness over being single, but now that I'm married to a wonderful man that makes me very happy, I realize it's just effing annoying. Can you imagine if that's how you operated IRL?

Joe: Hey Betty, how's it going?
Betty: Oh great. I love my boyfriend Adam so much. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. I <3 you baby!
Joe: Ummm. I don't know how you vocalized <3 but kudos. Did you do anything over the weekend?
Betty: Oh, yeah, I spent the weekend with my awesome bf Adam. I love him so much. He's so awesome. He's the best. I <3 you baby!
Joe: So how's school going?
Betty: Oh, I quit school. It was getting in the way of spending time with my super rad lover, Adam. OMG he is so great. We've been together for 2 months, 1 week, 4 days, and 15 hours. 10/3/10 - Best day ever!!! I <3 you baby!
Joe: Don't you have anything else to talk about?
Betty: Oh, I can tell you how spectacular by boyfriend Adam is. He's amazing. I couldn't imagine life without him. 10/3/10. I <3 you baby!!!

STFU!!!!

The Oversharer

99% of the time, the oversharer is a parent. You get to read things like, "Yay! Little Hanky just pooped in the potty for the first time. It was only a wee little marble sized turd, but he finally did it!!" Because everyone really wants to know how big your kid's poop was. I'm fortunate enough to not really have much of these in my news feed. My facebook friends all seem to have that social filter installed.

The Vague Emo

"You have ruined me! I can't believe you did this to me! I don't know if I will ever recover from what you've done to me! My life is over!" So...who the hell are you referring to and what the hell did they do? Do I ever ask this this question? Absolutely not because that's exactly what the poster wants: attention. If it wasn't a cry for attention, we'd never know about it. They'd address this junk directly to the person and in a private message or an e-mail or *GASP* a phone call.There's also the direct version of this, when someone actually calls the other person out by name. This is just awkward for everyone. Don't do it.  There are actually many different flavors of vagueness though - mystery happy statuses, mystery countdowns, etc, but this one annoys me the most.

So these are just the top examples. There are others. But I'll just leave it with these for now.