Things On Facebook That Bother Me Vol. 2

So among my first facebook post, I actually forgot the facebooker type that annoys me the most: The Chronic Misspeller. (According to the Firefox spellchecker, Misspeller should actually be spelled "misspell-er." That's dumb and I'm consciously ignoring it Even Webster spells it misspeller.) The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that the Chronic Misspeller merits is own post because there are three brands of the Chronic Misspeller.


The Text Speak Misspeller


I read somewhere that the average teenager sends 3,500 texts per month. That is outrageous. I dig texting. I use it all the time. However, if something requires 3,500 texts to convey, I will pick up the freakin phone and use my mouth. It's much faster than my thumbs anyway. Anyway, this copious use of texting has resulted in what's called "text speak." I use abbreviations in my texts occasionally, but most of the time, my texts are spelled correctly and use correct grammar. Why? Because I'm striving to be an English teacher. It's how I roll. Anyway, if you want to use text speak in your texts to your other teenie bopper friends, go right ahead. Do not let it leak into facebook. ESPECIALLY if you're facebooking from a computer. There's just no excuse for it then. What annoys me even more is when text speak is mixed with real words. It looks something like this:


"okay its my birthday 2morow ooo joy mayb this year will b better who knows but im not going to just give up because people r jerks!!!"


If you're gonna use text speak, take it all the way, none of this half-assing stuff. This should read either:

"Ok iz my bday 2morrow o joy mayb this yr wll b betr who nos but im not givn up bcuz peple r jrks!"


OR


"Okay, it's my birthday tomorrow. Oh joy! Maybe this year will be better. Who knows? I'm not going to just give up, though, because people are jerks."


The Lazy Misspeller


In the movie Easy A, Olive Penderghast's little brother exclaims, "I got a B+ on my spelling test." Then his mother responds, "That's great honey, everything has spellcheck these days." If you haven't seen the movie, you must. It is hilarious. Anyway, my point is, if you have misspellings in your facebook status, you are doing one of two things. One of those is just being too lazy to right click and find out what the correct spelling might be. You type out your status and think, "Oh there's a bunch of red squiggly lines under several words there. They must be misspelled. Oh well, I'd rather people think I'm an idiot than to find out how to actually spell them." *Clicks the Share button* 


The Atrocious Misspeller


This is the other possible thing that's going on if you still have misspellings in your status. Your spelling is so abhorrent that spellcheck cannot find the correct spelling of the word you're shooting for. This just makes me sad for the state of the United States education system. People on facebook are supposed to be at least 13 years of age. At the age of 13, if your spelling is so bad that spellcheck doesn't know what the hell you're trying to say, the educational system is failing you in some way. 


So some people probably think I'm a grammar and/or spelling snob. Go right ahead. I am. If it's wrong for me to expect teens to be able to write coherently with, at the very least, complete and correctly spelled words and complete sentences, then I'm guilty as charged. I know some people think, "Well it's just facebook. It's not a graded essay or anything." Here's the problem though, this leaks its way into those graded essays. I've heard about students turning papers in using text speak abbreviations and such. I'm telling you right now, that kind of thing will not be tolerated in my classroom. You know why? Because it wasn't tolerated from my teachers when I was that age. My mom recently discovered a card I made for my aunt when I was 9. There was not one single spelling or grammatical error in it. I was 9. I would expect a 13 year old to at least have the same proficiency I did at the age of 9. 


So there you are. The last class of flawed facebookers and an education gripe all in one fell swoop. :)