4 O'Clock and All's Well

So, yesterday's post was decidedly unfunny and may have given the impression that I am currently unhappy. My bad. I actually am happy. I have a wonderful marriage with a man I love more than I ever thought possible and who loves me just the same. We make good money. We have a wonderful home and 3 beautiful kitties. So really, I have it made. There are just certain aspects of life that stink right now, namely cold weather, sleep deprivation, and busyness from work/school.

I promise you this, though. Come late March/early April, you'll be reading a different blog. Hubby and I have a romantic getaway booked for the last week in March. My b-day is that Saturday. I'll be starting my last quarter as an undergrad (haha. I just typed undergard by accident) which should consist of just 2 classes and NO classroom observations (Praise Jeebus). And, at long last, the weather will be getting warm and this makes me a much more amiable geek. For one, I'll get to start riding my motorcycle again and riding that thing makes me feel sexy and awesome in a totally bad-ass kind of way.

I think yesterday's self-loathing woe-is-me diatribe was primarily a result of sleep deprivation and an unforgettable experience earlier in the week. This quarter my classroom observations are with 7th and 8th grade Language Arts classes in an elementary school. I'm obtaining a license to teach high school, but that license includes grades 7-12 and that is why I'm stuck with middle school. It's normally not so bad because the regular teacher has great classroom management skills, but on Tuesday, we had a sub. I know you all remember what it's like to have a sub. Now think about what it was like to have on in middle school, add a 99% poverty level and a pinch of a really unorthodox system for discipline and you have the makings of a nightmare. Literally. The goings-on of that day haunted my sleep for the next two days.

The sub was a bit older, likely in her 60s and seemed to be...well...out of touch with the reality of who these students were. She thought it would be wise to have storytelling time. With 13 and 14 year olds. Well...stories were certainly told. One involved an orgy in a spaceship. Another involved an apparently true story of a 13-year-old boy getting high, going to the pool, stealing an iPod, 150 bucks, and a camera and then getting arrested and forced to do community service. For a while, Miss Sub thought it would be a good idea to "show them how it's done." To put it mildly, it was an unmitigated disaster. Every other line of the story was followed by "Quiet! I'm trying to teach you how to tell a story!" Did the demon spawn oblige? Of course not. Did she keep telling the lame story anyway? Of course she did. It was an unparalleled 6 hours of torture. More than one student comment that I looked bored. I tried my best to hide it, but to no avail. I strongly considered banging my head against the wall, but thought it would be decidedly unprofessional and thought better of it.

Had I been a student teacher instead of just an observer, I would've just told the sub to sit down and take charge myself. But I'm not a student teacher. I'm not technically supposed to be teaching these kids on my own. It's not in the course description and school administration discourages it. But I have to say, just sitting there and watching all this go down made me seriously doubt my goal of becoming a teacher for a while. But then I realized, I pick up on social cues. I knew this kids were utterly uninterested in what was going on and I would have the common sense to change the plan. Actually, I have the common sense to know it was a bad idea from the get-go.

So that little whirlwind of terror easily brought down my whole week. I'm still recovering. I'm dreading my next day in the classroom with all of my being. If I walk in and there's a sub, I may very well turn around and walk right back out.

For now, I shall bid you adieu.

Word.